i have been mulling over this post--half wanting to write it and half wishing i didn't need to...so here it goes. ty started bugging us about 8 months ago to get a new helper hand. we've gone two years since our last visit to shriner's hospital to get his gator one and he never wore it. i was trying to spare everyone the process of creating a new one because the process is lengthy, requires travel, and the arm (although free to us) costs thousands of dollars and i wasn't taking that lightly. after repeated inquiries, todd and i finally made an appointment to begin the process for a new arm. now let's be clear--ty does not need a helper hand. at. all. he does everything a typical kid does using his hand and his nubby. what's not typical is the fact that he is processing his lot in life and i think he has concluded that he got a bum deal. we have talked with him since he was a baby about GOD's plans for him and how awesome we think he is...but the reality is everywhere he goes people stare, make stupid comments, and ask him incessantly about it. daily. there is no hiding for him. no blending. no fitting in. so when he asked for an arm that we all know he doesn't need, i concluded that he was looking for a way to improve his view of the situation. plus, the arm process would involve three trips to tampa with mommy and daddy and other perks along the way. how could we say no?
i have a deep love and respect for the work that goes on at shriner's. my usual "takeaway" from our visits there is that missing an arm is no big deal. the children that i've seen there (who are treated free-of-charge) have birth defects and differences way more catastrophic than ty's. i'm always very grateful when we are there...
another "takeaway" is that i'm super proud of ty--he never ceases to amaze me and make me laugh. and he's so intelligent and savvy, too. i also really savor the one-on-one time with him...he thinks he's king of the world when we go to shriner's...
so several weeks back we made our first visit--the nurse practitioner checked him over, pronounced him healthy and sent us down to prosthetics. we met with brian (who was the prosthetist who made ty's first arm) who casted ty's nubby, took measurements, and took ty back to the lab to see where the magic happens. then we went home and returned to shriner's a week later to try on the "check-socket" and select the fabric for his arm. he chose sharks and specifically he wanted the blue shark to be face up. we returned a week later for arm delivery...
so this is seconds after ty got his first look at it. he was quite pleased...
brian worked with him to get it on, although he didn't need much help
he adjusted the back strap and let ty hang out with it on for a few minutes to see if the fit was good...
and then he let him enjoy it. and get annoyed with it (because he couldn't pick up small things with it at first)
but the general feeling he had towards it was positive. plus it looks really cool...like we got him tattooed with sharks...
after he took off the arm the popped back on the "check-socket," which brian let him keep
then we went down to occupational therapy. and this is where reality really set in. here was this new cool-looking shark arm that was really just a clumsy substitute for his God-given arm...and ty couldn't make it do what he wanted it to do. now don't get me wrong, he did amazing in his OT session. he accomplished everything the OT wanted him to...but to watch him was almost more than i could bear. i've never seen his face look so determined and i watched as his right hand was obeying all the instructions that his helper hand was ignoring. see ty's brain thinks he has a hand and a nubby--nubbies don't open, close, or do any fine motor things. hands do. and you could just see ty's right hand making the motions he was so desperately trying to make the shark arm do. i kept turning to todd to keep from crying...because usually i don't give a lot of thought to ty's missing hand. but this OT session just drove home that reality like someone hammering a nail into my soul.
the absolute highlight of the visit was riding this bike through the hospital--all in the name of learnign to use his arm, of course :)
so ty wore his arm to school the day after he got it...and got in the car after school...and took it off...and hasn't worn it since. i have theorized that since he can easily transfer his anger about his lot in life to this new "helper hand" that wasn't so helpful, he can take it off and be angry at it, channeling a lifetime of feelings into a shark-covered device. and if that makes him feel better about himself, or somehow eases the pain of being a six-year-old with only one hand, then it was worth the gas and miles and time and thousands of dollars... i think in the end we will all be better for having gone through these experiences with ty. i just wish that it wasn't so painful during the process.
